More from Zip:

 So, you’ve busted through the girl’s bitch shield. You’re sliding into home base, right? No, sir. Not if you are dealing with a high quality girl. A high quality girl is used to getting hit on. Not only is she used to getting hit on, she’s used to letting some guys past her bitch shield. Now, she’ll hit you with some “tests” to ensure that you are truly worthy of her time. Welcome, gentlemen, to the shit test.
 
Shit tests are gages sent out to a guy upon first contact to see how he deals with “x” variable. It is an equation projected on a guy to see how he “deals with it.” It’s her way of gaining control, putting the male into a passive position, and asserting her own indirect control over the situation. The situation, by the way, is your entire interaction.
 
This is a slight tangent, but just so you understand my use of the word “gauge,” I will share a female secret. I often feel like a traitor to my sex, but I am assured by the fact that I feel I am helping men become better candidates for interaction. Actually, I’m doing a favor to all womankind by sharing this secret…
Women often use kissing a man to “gauge” the relationship. Whether it’s a two-week-old relationship or a two-year-old relationship, they will use kissing as the litmus test to “feel out” what a man is “thinking.”
 
This test works because women are born with an innate sense of subtext and ulterior motive, cued by body language. Women are able to, even on a subconscious level, read body language better than most consciously aware males. According to women, men say one thing and mean another. This is why women use “gauges” to “feel out” or “test” men. It’s a way to cut through the bullshit and get to the true meaning of interaction. The initial gauge you will ever face with a woman is the shit test. That is, if you are so lucky to break through her bitch shield.

To really smash approach anxiety, you have to understand why women have bitch shields, and why rejection is nothing personal.

Here’s Zip’s perspective (who is Zip?).

As a woman, I don’t wake up in the morning and pray that some white night does not come rescue me from a paltry existence and sweep me off my feet. However, I don’t wake up in the morning, hoping every guy I meet today will try to get in my pants. Hence, the bitch shield comes in as a way to weed out the losers and get to the guys worth my time.

Sure, I could be nice and give every man equal and fair opportunity to be interviewed for admission to my bed, but I don’t have the time. Plus, it gets old. I’ve fallen victim to a vicious cycle of disinterested behaviour in order to find a man worthy of my interest. It is a routine many women employ as a defence mechanism disguised as an offensive attack.

Why do all the really pretty girls have the biggest bitch shields? Men are visual. Obviously, the hotter the girl, the more likely she’s getting accosted more frequently than a “cute” girl.

Last year I was teaching a guy the pick-up arts. A good guy who’d concentrated hard on his career but had very limited success with women. He was learning quick, but he really struggled with approach anxiety. One night while out sarging, he turned to me and said, “Why can’t women approach me?”. I laughed and told him the following.

There are a number of character traits that women find attractive in men. One of the main ones is being a protector – being able to protect a woman in dangerous or difficult situations (part of masculinity). So, how on earth can a guy convey that attractive character-trait (being a protector) when he can’t even approach women?

There is a significant difference between masculinity and femininity. Masculinity is about courage, risk taking, boldness, etc., where femininity is about gentleness, patience, kindness, etc. Because of the difference, women expect men who are attracted to them to approach and initiate conversations. Yet, very few guys realize this!

So, it’s up to guys to approach women and not the other way round, I told him!

I asked members of my pua forum about their experiences of AA. Here’s some responses I got.

“Brad, I can’t explain it. It’s like you know all you’ve gotta do is just walk over and talk to the girls, but I just can’t do it!”

“My biggest sticky point ever was AA. I was just born as a silent and shy guy. Every time I was thinking about approaching I got so nervous I could feel my heart beating in my chest. There where times I was afraid it would pop out of my chest… lol. This fear and nervous feeling made sure I never approached and if I approached, I just had major freeze-outs.”

“I build myself up before going out to meet girls, convincing myself that I am not actually that bad. I’m reasonable good looking, and quite intelligent. So my efforts to build a good mood work, and I feel great. As soon as opportunities present them self, things fall apart! I’ll not approach a girl I take a liking to, thinking I’ll speak to them later when in truth the fear stops me. This is turn depresses me slightly, taking away my good feelings I came out with. It’s a vicious cycle, and it leads to me drinking more than I intend to (to get that good feeling back) and being that AFC who watches the hot girls wishfully.”

So, what is approach anxiety? AA is an overwhelming emotion and it can be almost paralysing at the time. Specifically, it’s an emotional response to the thought of approaching unknown women. Through my research, I’ve found that AA stems from an unrealistic and sometimes irrational view of women and social interaction.

In my last post, Why Create an Approach Anxiety Blog?, I compared AA to a phobia. According to Wiki :

” A phobia is an irrational, intense, persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, or persons. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject.”

What causes that ‘irrational, intense, persistent fear of” approaching women? It’s a combination of things! And unless a guy corrects his view of women and interacting with them, AA won’t go away… it will be there forever!

The biggest obstacle for almost all guys wanting to meet more women is something called ‘Approach Anxiety’.

Approach anxiety (or AA for short) is an emotional response: A guy sees a girl or group of girls, and he knows all he has to do is go over and start talking to her or the group, but, suddenly, AA (approach anxiety) kicks in and he feels overwhelmed or even “paralysed”, and within a few moments, the guy convinces himself not to bother.

For most guys, this happens again and again and again! They miss opportunity after opportunity to meet attractive and interesting women day-in and day-out. I suspect many guys go through their entire life suffering from AA and eventually settle for virtually any women that come there way.

Is there a solution?

Absolutely! But first, a bit about me: I got into the Game (the pick-up arts) around 2003 – 2004 after coming out of a long-term relationship. At that time there was little information about PU (how to Pick Up women) compared to today. Although I managed to find and buy a few ebooks and started thinking about meeting more women, but virtually every time I tried, I was overwhelmed by AA… and I tried many, many times! At the time I just couldn’t get myself to approach women.

Well, being a fairly analytical person, I began to try to understand what AA is and break it down into different parts or related pieces. After some research, I realised that AA is potential phobia for many guys: an irrational fear of approaching and talking to unknown women, and I was experiencing that phobia!

After more research and experimenting, I was able to completely smash my approach anxiety: I went from unable to approach women to merging large groups (sets) of hen night-girls and isolating several women from the groups for making out (kiss closing) and getting their mobile numbers (number closing). On another night, I probably approached 40 to 50 groups (sets) and chatted to over 150 to 200 women! Some of these women were between 9 and 10 on the HB scale - almost model-like!

So how did I do it? Nothing magical! About 2 years ago, because my success, I started the Pick-up Artist Forum to help guys learn how to improve their PU skills. And, with this blog I’ll demonstrate how any guy can follow a break-through, step-by-step method for smashing AA and meet stunningly attractive and amazingly interesting women.